If Yoga Pants and Jeans Had a Baby and Other Friday Discoveries

Dear World,

I am ready to unleash the most important secret you will ever learn. Are you ready?

DID YOU KNOW MATERNITY JEANS ARE JUST DENIM YOGA PANTS?

I went window shopping a few days ago and found myself in the Pea in a Pod boutique in Macy's. I let the sales associate talk me into trying on maternity jeans because my belly was getting squeezed off by my favorite pairs. I realized I can no longer live in pregnancy denial. I convinced myself I was allowed to consider a purchase because I had a sonogram earlier in the day and sea monkey has begun to look like a person! PSA: I am a pro at retail rationalization, in the event you need a consultant. Plus, when your marine animal loses it's tail...well, wouldn't YOU try on jeans? It's really the only logical thing to do.

In case you need decoding, sea monkey's head is on the right. It's hand is raised.

It probably has a really important question such as: "But whyyyyy?" or "Are we there yet?" Sorry, monkey. It will have to wait until you can speak. I digress.

Guys, GUYS! Maternity jeans will rock your world. Eat too much at Thanksgiving and feeling uncomfortable? Who needs to unbutton when the top of your pants are lycra? Want to eat those extra 7 slices of pizza but you are worried about a muffin top? Fear not. Your waist will never resemble a baked good again. Never! Behold:

As a rule, I don't post dressing room selfies but this is breaking news. I exhaled for the first time in a month. 

Later on that evening, Friday proved to have even more in store. Keep in mind, it's already been a pretty monumental day: 1. Sea monkey is, in fact, a person. 2. I made the most critical purchase of my life. What else could possibly happen?

I'll tell you. Jonathan and I were out on the town when we discovered our child has already been born. It's a bit confusing when you can see your belly growing and also see a picture of your child, who is apparently a greeting card model.

Tell me this is not our child. 

I'm not sure what this means for the child in my belly who was the impetus for the impulse maternity jeans purchase but I'll be sure to keep you posted on further developments.

Until then, go buy maternity jeans. I can't wait to hear your disbelief.