Showered with Blessings and Laughter

They've outdone themselves again. Since January, there have been many Jaimie life events and poor Ashley and Alyssa have been planning celebrations around virtually all of them. Let's review:

• Jaimie and Jonathan move in together
• Jaimie and Jonathan announce their pregnancy
• Jaimie and Jonathan announce their baby's gender
• Jaimie has her 35th birthday
• Jaimie and Jonathan get engaged
• Jaimie and Jonathan get married
• Jaimie and Jonathan have a baby shower

While they both rock their day jobs, I highly recommend hiring these two for all of your celebration needs. The wedding will get a separate post when our pics are returned to us so I'll write about our shower in the meantime. Special shoutout to my mom who also helped with the shower, pictured with Alyssa's sweet mom (on the right) and our gorgeous cousin Gloria whose water comes directly from the fountain of youth. Guess her age! I'll give you a hint: there's a 5 in the tens place. Wow.

Okay, back to this shower business. It was amazing and everything I wanted. I loved seeing our friends and family there. The decorations were adorable. The food was delicious. I've consumed 11 leftover cupcakes. And the presents...oh my goodness. Josie/we are SPOILED. And blessed with the most generous and thoughtful loved ones. That little lady is set for life, or until she is 3. It pays to have an educator for a mom. Check out Josie's new library and matching stuffed animal collection + my dad's head:

This personalized basket contains all of my favorite books growing up and some new ones!

Speaking of gifts, Jonathan's gift commentary was icing on the cupcake. We were opening gifts together and he was being ridiculous as usual. I started making him guess functions of the gifts and share his thoughts with the audience. I couldn't stop laughing.

Unicorn blanket and toy: "Is this a blanket or a puppet?"

Swaddling blankets: "These must be baby straight jackets."

Boppy: "Well, this is a baby beanbag for her baby dorm room.
She needs a matching baby lava lamp and
a baby Jim Belushi poster that says 'Preschool'...
Josie! Is that a baby bong? No m'am!"

Life is going to be grand with this man. And my fam. I'm one lucky lady and so is Josie.

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn

This is almost a sequel to the entry below but instead takes place in Fort Meyers, FL.

It’s been a truly horrendous winter. I can never acclimate to the bitter cold and it was exacerbated this year by having to dress my bump, which appeared quite eagerly in month two. Spring was more of a winter hangover, so tights were essential.  Panty hose, I have some news for you: there’s no controlling this top. She does what she wants, when she wants. Summer clothes are much easier for growing bellies and I now reside, quite happily, in a rainbow of maxi dresses. And by rainbow, I mean black. C’mon, I still live in New York-ish. See the below post.

But now we’re in sunny Florida, the land of D- hair. On it’s best day, my hair is a generous B+. My sister wakes up with A+ hair, forget when she attempts to style it. We used to joke that she’s the pretty one and I’m the smart one but she was just admitted to Columbia University so there’s that. Now I’m the pregnant one.

Still, I’m happy to trade my frizzy, limp locks for temperatures above 60 and miles of beaches. Jonathan and I took the first of two babymoons to stay on the grounds of the most glorious beach and golf club. There are spas, tennis courts, boats, pools, men in Hawaiian shirts offering poolside bar service, a Super Target within a mile… Life is good.

Super Target not pictured 

We decided to work out one morning before hitting our favorite infinity pool (see above). Working out these days for me is a bit funny. I’m definitely the girl at the gym people use as motivation. Never mind that I look incredibly ridiculous in my maternity workout attire and even my bump is protesting this decision. I can feel the self-lashing internal monologues as they spy me huffing on the elliptical...

Me huffing. PS-these shorts don't even fit anymore,.

“What is wrong with you, you lazy ass? If she can do this, I am turning up my resistance 5 levels and staying on this bike/treadmill/other torture device for 30 more minutes.” Still, I feel a little proud of myself that I can do light cardio for 30 minutes and lift my green weights for 5.

This day I was caught off-guard in the midst of my post-workout praise session (which consists of me patting myself on the back and reminding myself muscle memory will take me back to my old wardrobe post-baby if I keep this up) when a man in his late sixties approached me.

Jaimie, you are doing such a great jo…

Guy: How far along are you?

Me: Seven months.

Guy: It’s a boy, right?

Me: Um, no. She’s a she.

Guy: Wow, really? I was checking you out as you walked past me and it seems like you are carrying in your hips. You are very hippy. I didn’t know you before but your body is consistent with the signs of a boy.

Me: That’s odd. I’m typically told by complete strangers that I’m all belly, indicating a female.

Guy: Well, I could be wrong. My wife carried… (Jaimie tunes out man)

Dude. DUDE. Allow me to list the crimes you committed in order.

Number one: don’t tell a pregnant woman she is anything but perfect and a hero.

Number two: don’t “check out” someone and then admit you checked them out…to their face.

Number three: I am seven months pregnant and in a gym. I could be one million other places, including the ice cream shop, the bakery, Willy Wonka’s house… All I should hear from you is silence. At the most I will accept an affirming smile.

Gross. Two more months. Still.