Birth plan: GET HER OUT!

WE ARE J CUBED! Finally.

This past week has been a blur. I can't believe I have a one week old daughter. (Fine, she's now two weeks old but I did start this one week ago. #momlife)

Josie Maren Young, diva extraordinaire 

Let's rewind.

So we were scheduled for an induction last Sunday evening (the 9th) at 9 pm. In preparation for an eventful end of our weekend, we stayed in on Saturday night and watched "Look Who's Talking" to glean some last minute parenting tips. It left me wondering which celebrity would narrate my daughter's infancy. Given what I already knew about her, I guessed Rosie Perez.

I conked out at 9 pm on Saturday but Jonathan elected to stay up so he would sleep in on Sunday and be alert late Sunday evening for the induction. Little Miss Jojo had other plans.

At 3 am early Sunday I woke up feeling funny. I was sitting up in bed breathing through what would be my third contraction when Jonathan turned over and asked if I was okay. Indeed, I was not.

We rushed around collecting ourselves and called an Uber. As I tucked into the back seat, I warned twenty-something Osama (with the throaty voice of a demon) "I'm in LABOR" and then proceeded to make these ridiculous primal noises. That was probably all the birth control poor Osama will ever need; the look on his face was one of sheer terror. Thank goodness our diva decided to come in the middle of the night because we made it to the City in 20 minutes flat and everyone was put out of their misery.

I had it in my mind that I wanted to deliver Josie without medical intervention. About an hour into labor that quickly changed. Post-epidural Jaimie was so much happier but let's be real - labor isn't exactly a picnic. When the L&D nurse asked about our birth plan I said, "Get.Her.Out." She replied: "I'm writing that down."

Ashley arrived on the scene around 8 am and she and Jonathan were my labor coaches, helping me breathe and eventually push through each contraction. After a while, the doctor told me she didn't like how Josie's heart rate was impacted by my pushing and she wanted to prepare us that we might need to relocate to the OR for a vacuum birth or C section. I did not like that one bit. The last thing I wanted was a C section. Plus, I could only have one guest in the OR which meant Ashley would have to stay behind. I bet you can guess what happened next...

Into the OR I was wheeled. I was greeted with a sea of people in blue scrubs.  After a bit, I was back to pushing. There were four doctors, and it became clear I was being treated by Team C Section and Team Vacuum. Josie's heart rate kept dropping with each push and Team Vacuum was losing their ground. I was told I had one more contraction (or three pushes) to deliver her. I couldn't see this, but Jonathan later told me Dr. Collins (Team V) had fastened the vacuum to Josie's head and was pulling with all of her might. Push one - no Josie. Push two- no Josie. Push three...I forced myself to envision athlete Jaimie on all of the marathon courses and soccer fields where I had to unearth sources of energy that didn't exist. I'm not kidding. I knew it was do or be cut open and with the feral growl of a lady Hulk, I did it. I birthed this child with the head the size of a county fair award-winning grapefruit. Good grief.

Josie's stats: 8.4 lbs, 21 inches*, brown hair, blue eyes, no tears
There was some initial debate on Josie's height. At one point, Jonathan thought the doctors said 72 inches and I erupted into laughter: "Jonathan, that's taller than I am!" This is what happens when you don't sleep.

Oh hey world.

Over the next few days in the hospital, Josie was greeted by many friends and family members! She was quite the popular little thing. Check our Facebook album "All About Josie" for photos of her fan club.

Josie's big debut and even bigger bow!

So, there you have it: Josie's birth story. It wasn't pretty but it was a bit heroic and now our life is complete.

We have settled in nicely at home. Josie has had many new experiences.

Josie's first Dodger game.
(Don't tell her dad, but I think she might be a soccer fan.)

Josie's first staring contest

Josie's first book

Josie's first park outing

Josie's first costume!

Josie's first walk/Jaimie's first walk and Josie's first stroll

I am going to do my best to continue blogging but I realize it's harder to do with one to zero free hands. I will have to take advantage of moments like this to blog about my sweet family.

See you soon.

xo,

The Young Family!

#pleasechildcomeout

It is August 7th and we are still not J Cubed, which makes my blog title a lie. There must be an evolutionary reason for Josie's delay. I suspect it's because labor is seriously unpleasant (must fact check) and so babies are late to replace feelings of labor fear with labor frustration, which is much easier to stomach, er...uterus. In any event, I HAVE HAD IT.

Waiting for Josie is like waiting for Santa AND a hurricane, at once. We are about to be bestowed with many gifts however we might lose a few backyard trees in the process. To occupy myself, I've taken up a little photo project on Instagram. It's called #pleasechildcomeout.

I got the idea one day as I was walking past our park - the one where Jonathan and I got married and actually had dinner in this past week. I've been play-threatening Josie with being sent directly to time out or being the first grounded newborn for being late so I decided I ought to change my approach and show her the world she's missing by staying nestled inside of me.

"Josie, this is a playground. Children love these things. If you come out, I will take you here. Doesn't it look FUN?!" #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is meat. You haven't had any of this because your mom is a vegetarian but a lot of people like it. In fact, your father exists solely on it. Don't you want to try it?" #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is ice cream. You've had tons of this but I bet it tastes better firsthand. Plus. maybe you want other flavors. There are so many of those." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is your dress. It's one of my very favorite things you own. You can wear it once you're born! You have quite the wardrobe already thanks to your adoring and generous fans with excellent taste." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is a pool. You don't even realize how lucky you are that you have access to one in this area, on the rooftop of your building, no less. You also have the most adorable bathing suit you can wear,  with a matching hat and sunnies. We will get you 100 pool toys if you WOULD JUST MEET US ALREADY." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is a summer-inspired mani pedi. Even though I was a total tomboy and hated makeup until I was 25, you might like it - for wearing or making art. In fact, your dad is an actor and has all kinds of makeup you can smear on the walls. That's right. I just gave you permission to do that. Doesn't life sound fun on the outside?" #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is wine. A lot of these posts have been for you, but this one is for me. I have had zero glasses of wine, mugs of coffee, or diet cokes and THIS is how you repay me? Mommy deserves this. It's time." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, these are your books and some of your toys. You have so many wonderful adventures to experience,  but you'll never meet the hungry, hungry caterpillar or the red fish, blue fish if you stay inside. I will happily read you 12 bedtime stories each night and get you three glasses of water (when you're old enough) but only if you relocate." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is pizza. You cannot understand the wonder of this food secondhand. If you emerge for no other reason, this may be the best one." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is your dad. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know and cannot wait to meet you. He calls you JoJo and sings Michael Jackson songs to you often. Trust me, kid, you want to meet this guy." #pleasechildcomeout

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PS-Special shoutout to my good friend, Melissa Trujillo. I was reminded last week that this silly blog wouldn't exist without her suggestion way back when so mad props to you, darlin! This has been super fun for me and I'm so glad to have it. <3