#pleasechildcomeout

It is August 7th and we are still not J Cubed, which makes my blog title a lie. There must be an evolutionary reason for Josie's delay. I suspect it's because labor is seriously unpleasant (must fact check) and so babies are late to replace feelings of labor fear with labor frustration, which is much easier to stomach, er...uterus. In any event, I HAVE HAD IT.

Waiting for Josie is like waiting for Santa AND a hurricane, at once. We are about to be bestowed with many gifts however we might lose a few backyard trees in the process. To occupy myself, I've taken up a little photo project on Instagram. It's called #pleasechildcomeout.

I got the idea one day as I was walking past our park - the one where Jonathan and I got married and actually had dinner in this past week. I've been play-threatening Josie with being sent directly to time out or being the first grounded newborn for being late so I decided I ought to change my approach and show her the world she's missing by staying nestled inside of me.

"Josie, this is a playground. Children love these things. If you come out, I will take you here. Doesn't it look FUN?!" #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is meat. You haven't had any of this because your mom is a vegetarian but a lot of people like it. In fact, your father exists solely on it. Don't you want to try it?" #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is ice cream. You've had tons of this but I bet it tastes better firsthand. Plus. maybe you want other flavors. There are so many of those." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is your dress. It's one of my very favorite things you own. You can wear it once you're born! You have quite the wardrobe already thanks to your adoring and generous fans with excellent taste." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is a pool. You don't even realize how lucky you are that you have access to one in this area, on the rooftop of your building, no less. You also have the most adorable bathing suit you can wear,  with a matching hat and sunnies. We will get you 100 pool toys if you WOULD JUST MEET US ALREADY." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is a summer-inspired mani pedi. Even though I was a total tomboy and hated makeup until I was 25, you might like it - for wearing or making art. In fact, your dad is an actor and has all kinds of makeup you can smear on the walls. That's right. I just gave you permission to do that. Doesn't life sound fun on the outside?" #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is wine. A lot of these posts have been for you, but this one is for me. I have had zero glasses of wine, mugs of coffee, or diet cokes and THIS is how you repay me? Mommy deserves this. It's time." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, these are your books and some of your toys. You have so many wonderful adventures to experience,  but you'll never meet the hungry, hungry caterpillar or the red fish, blue fish if you stay inside. I will happily read you 12 bedtime stories each night and get you three glasses of water (when you're old enough) but only if you relocate." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is pizza. You cannot understand the wonder of this food secondhand. If you emerge for no other reason, this may be the best one." #pleasechildcomeout

"Josie, this is your dad. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know and cannot wait to meet you. He calls you JoJo and sings Michael Jackson songs to you often. Trust me, kid, you want to meet this guy." #pleasechildcomeout

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PS-Special shoutout to my good friend, Melissa Trujillo. I was reminded last week that this silly blog wouldn't exist without her suggestion way back when so mad props to you, darlin! This has been super fun for me and I'm so glad to have it. <3