Things my mother says

Look, world. If you interact with me these days, anything you say or do is fair game. Especially when related to my uterus. With that said, I give you: Things my mother says.

I actually only have one thing to share but it's so epic it counts as seven things.

I am going to a wedding this weekend (not my own, don't get excited - I'm saving that for when I can just order a silky white table cloth and call it a gown) and I needed something to wear. We've already been over "the nothing fits and hasn't for two months" bit...

Before I share the thing my mother said, I would like to address maternity clothes at large.

Maternity Clothes: You are pretty lame. I don't really want to dress like a JC Penny's catalog from 1998. Why are you insisting on this?

<rant over>

Where was I? Right. Dress shopping.

I found something I liked but it was two parts too casual and one part wrong season. Fail. I still tried to get away with it so I took a dressing room selfie to see if it looked as inappropriate as I suspected. I then realized my mother hadn't seen me in person yet and I am FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT. That's a lot. And, if you haven't noticed, I'm a lot. There's a whole lotta Jaimie to go around these days. So, I sent her the photo...

In case you can't see the text, I shall recount it for you.

Jaimie: I am huge. Be prepared.

Mom: You better be built like the Holland Tunnel to cork that baby out!

Folks, there's nothing like a mother's love to lift you up when facing the impossible. 

I only hope I will entertain Josie half as much as my mother entertains me.

Also, in a somewhat related note - I marvel often about how huge I am (pregnant) but will be certain to pass on nothing but healthy body vibes to Josie. This inspirational and informative article is a good guide.